In a few short days, I open my new business. I cannot believe this is actually happening. It's everything I have worked for since the moment TJ died, even if I didn't know it consciously. All of the pain and sorrow, all of the hard work and tears, all of the self reflection and excavation has brought me right to this place. And how appropriate that this new chapter is beginning in late fall.
In Chinese medicine, the fall governs the emotion of grief. The body organs associated with fall are all about receiving breath from heaven and letting go of what no longer serves us back to the earth. It's the perfect balance. As I stand at the threshold of this new chapter in life I am compelled to share with you the spirit of a particular acupuncture point. It is called Heavenly Palace:
"The palace of the spirit and soul, the creator. A palace where the spirit can be fed, nurtured and revitalized, where all that has defiled it can be cleansed. One of the most dynamic and spiritually uplifting points on the body. It can bring a person back into a lifestyle that is more meaningful, show them more of the essence of life which they have been missing. Very much making it possible to receive and let in. It is about [the] relationship to the rest of the universe, to what goes on outside themselves. This point is about trust, communication, receptivity, the place that is safe, one has what is needed. The emperors palace which brings clarity, peace, and stability to someone in darkness and confusion. May need to take a person there only once and they will be able to live for a long time on what they find there." - Spirit of the Points compiled by Debbi Manders
This sings straight to my heart. "A palace where the spirit can be fed, nurtured and revitalized, where all that has defiled it can be cleansed."
I feel that all of this time since TJ's death has been used to feed and tend myself and to discover what I need. I am allowing this time between worlds to serve as a cleansing of my spirit; to wash over pain and sorrow so that I am ready to welcome this new part of my journey. And standing at the beginning of my new life brings with it many emotions. I feel fear over the "what if's", I feel deep self love for my dedication to improving myself and my life, I feel sadness that I am unable to share this with TJ on this earth... It is every emotion I have ever had all rolled into one. I am choosing to use the powerful force of this supercell of emotions to transport me over the edge into the unknowing, and to trust what comes after the dive.
I have no idea what life will look like because I have never done this before. What I do know is that every holy bump I have experienced on my journey thus far has been for a reason. Everything that has happened in my life has served me well, even when the experiences are painful, scary and exhausting. And from this past knowledge I accept that everything will happen at exactly the perfect time in exactly the perfect way. As I have weeded, tended, and planted new possibilities and life into my own soul I am now ready to share those gifts with the world through my practice. Soul Garden Acupuncture, opening November 3rd 2015
*This post inspired me greatly and gave me comfort with the unknown. Check her out!