Things are really happening. I'm seeing patients in our school clinic, I'm wrapping up my second year of my masters degree, I finally had the courage, love and self respect to post a picture of myself (on the internet!) in a bikini... so many amazing things. And yet I still feel like things could be better if I had a boyfriend.
And then, when I think that, when I say that I get so frustrated with myself. Why can't all of these other exciting things be enough? And it's not because I need a man. It's because I want a man. I want to share all of this awesomeness intimately with someone. It would make everything else that much sweeter (I think?) Ugh.
I know I need to live in the moment. I do. And I also believe deep down that I am personally hard-wired to share. To me it makes things worth doing. I have taken a hard look at my self. I have gone down to my depths; have looked into nothing and created something. I have faced my demons and made peace with them (we're totally friends now). I am following my wildest dreams and I am flourishing. (I mean, I bought myself a fucking bikini! How much more free can I get?) I am embracing myself and I continue to work hard to be a positive force in the world.
So the big question now is...
What is God, The Universe, whatever waiting for? I feel ready, so what gives? I've never been a patient woman. I'd better start practicing.