What on earth made me think last night that feeling sick all week was actually helping me? Cause it's not. I'm so pissed that I'm sick. I can not handle this right now. Thankfully, this evening, I am feeling the best I have since last week. Physically speaking. The only way this illness has helped is that it allows me to sleep and sleep and ignore the fact that Saturday is coming fast.
If I hadn't gotten sick, I would be so much better off. I had all of these "feel good about myself" activities planned this week to prep for the "dreaded anniversary" quotations quotations ranty rant. I had appointments. Acupuncture. A hot stone massage. I'd made a list on my last day in AK of all the things the girls had inspired me to do. Here's that list I made:
When You Get Home:
Buy new linens- make your room your own
Get your own towels- fluffy, absorbent, extra long
Get crafty: sketch pad, colored pencils
Yarn & buttons for the girls
Have photos printed
Buy some nice frames and matte them appropriately
Poster board & Glue (for my goals poster I have to create!!)
Common Market for tinctures and other homeopathic remedies
Research Cuts (for my hair- which I did, and had chopped just last Friday before I got sick. Ugh)
Research classes for crocheting (I got the schedule! Now I just have to book it.)
See, now isn't that a great list? I haven't gotten hardly any of it done, since I only had one flippin day home before my immune system decided to shit the bed. (Not literally- it wasn't that kind of flu.)
Plan A: Be happy, keep busy with constructive things, take care of myself, create a content barrier before the "dreaded anniversary".
Actual turn of events: Be jet lagged, get hair cut, feel happy for a few hours, wake up sick, feel miserable for days and days, no happy buffer created, just fear that breeds like this stupid germ inside my body.
I want that shot from the book about Louis Pasteur when the soldiers march through the syringe into the little boys body so they can battle the germ enemy and win. I want that. I don't want to be sick any more.